


TAINTED LOVE

by mizz_apple



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Death, Hyunwoo loved Kihyun so much, Infidelity, Kids are adopted, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, if you squint you'll get Wonhyuk, mentioning Jookyun, mentioning Wonho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-24 07:14:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17096195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mizz_apple/pseuds/mizz_apple
Summary: Prompt: DeathCard A from ShowkiMasterBingoChallengeHyunwoo and Kihyun were happily married with two children. They had a perfect life that everyone could ever dream.Only that, one of them wanted more.





	TAINTED LOVE

* * *

_Sometimes, the biggest flaw is the perfection itself._

* * *

 

 

“Honey, if you get this message. I’ll be coming so late. I’m sorry, darling, there’s something I must take care of. Please say to Jooheon I’m sorry and I’ll make it up to him. Love you, darling.

Beep.

Kihyun stared at his smartphone blankly. People would kill to be him, to have what he had: a nice career, happy and healthy kids, and a loving husband. Their 10th wedding anniversary had just passed and the same man who made his heart leap crazily was still there, taking good care of him and their children.

One was adopted and one was from surrogate mother.

Yet he and Hyunwoo, his husband, loved them equally to the moon and back. They’re everything for him and Hyunwoo, the gift of their marriage.

Kihyun sighed. He turned 35 last month, while Hyunwoo 38. Both of them got married in time, not too late or too early. They both also had a steady career with great income so money had never been an issue for them.

He got his Hyunwoo who loved him unconditionally; a perfect man that he's thankful for. The best partner that someone could ever wish for because instead of being cocky of his handsomeness or wealth, he's the most down-to-earth man in the world. He would literally take off his suit to join his sons rolling on the dirty ground if that would bring the laughter from them. He gave the world on a silver platter just for Kihyun and their children.

Kihyun was also a notable man in his own career. Juggling between work and family wasn't a serious problem for him. He also took care of his physical appearance so well which made everyone said that he looked so young in age, which was not that young. He's that trophy-husband who looked perfect—he's indeed, a perfectionist, in everything.

Everything.

That might be the biggest flaw - the perfection itself.

Once we had tasted it, we craved for more. Higher, bigger, deeper.

**««»»**

 

Kihyun sighed loudly as he loosened up his tie. The constant buzzing sound from his phone was annoying. That could be from the PR team, but he wasn't in the mood to continue his work.

After gathering his energy and a damn good will, he pushed himself off of the chair making a bee-line to big paned windows in his office. The sun, halfway set in the horizon, gave off the last orange ray onto his face and torso, creating a long shadow on the floor. The festival of city light under him was mesmerizing- one of the perks of having the office with the best view.  Seoul had never failed to capture him with its charm. It wasn't easy to live comfortably in a big city, but he got his own lucky star. He started from the bottom, for sure, to be where he was now. He knew what sacrifice was. He knew how painful it was to watch people can eat rice thrice a day while he only survived once a day. He fell down until he couldn't count it, yet he stubbornly rose again. He knew that one day, he would taste his hard work and failures. He believed in the same basic principle everywhere: when there's a will, there's a way.

The man with slender body leaned to the window glass; absorbing the silence of his office while bathing in the last ray of the sun. It's hilarious how people who were struggling to even make ten dollars a day were cheerfully smiling and chatting down there, while he, who could make a million in a day, anxiously watched everything with a clenched fist and gritted teeth.

He didn't know when this feeling started to appear.

The strange feeling, like having everything in the grasp of your hand wasn't enough.

_He wanted more,_

_he was craving for more._

_Of what?_

_Hell,_ whatever that could make him full again.

The thrill of something new because he fell into the routines day by day. He felt like dying with boredom and loneliness.

Was he just lonely? Maybe.

Hyunwoo was really busy nowadays. He's a smart and talented businessman who traveled a lot, but he never abandoned his family. He made time for them.

Sometimes, Kihyun would feel so desperately mad of himself, while he was childishly begging for Hyunwoo to stay for one more day, the older had to find a thousand reasons to deal with angry associates. He sometimes had to stay awake for the whole night after tucking in their children to their own beds.

As big as Hyunwoo's love for their children, he also had super-massive love for Kihyun- that he knew well.

Giving massage on Kihyun's tired shoulders or feet, applying body cream every night when he was home was his favorite thing to do together. He said it was because he felt like buttering the bread, but of course, he had to put his 'sausage' between the bread.

So sex life was great. Hyunwoo had that stamina that could make Kihyun limp the whole day. Once he started, he would not stop until Kihyun ejaculated twice.

So whatever that made Kihyun anxious and restless was not because of his 'perfect' life.

**««»»**

Kihyun startled when someone knocked the door. "Kihyunnie?"

"Come in. It's not locked," replied Kihyun, knowing exactly the owner of the voice. "Tell me that you're here because Wonho finally gives you a ring."

Minhyuk, Kihyun's longtime best friend, smiled cheekily. "He did give me a ring-"

"SHUT UP. Are you serious? When? How? Is it big? How many carats is it?"

"Well, not that kind of ring. Definitely not a wedding ring, but some kind of ring for, uh, different finger."

The younger of the two furrowed his brows, "What?"

Minhyuk dropped one of his pretty fingers to his crotch and pulled it up like pulling out a dick from his pants. "This finger."

Kihyun's scowled, "Crazy dickhead. Did he, for real, measure your small dick and buy you the ring?"

Minhyuk frowned upon Kihyun's snide. "Hey, I am 7" and that's not small. It's average and since when you become so retarded? It's a cock ring, not a real ring, you dumbass."

The scowl now turned into a disgusted face. "Ah, you little shit. I was genuinely happy for you when you mentioned about that ring from Wonho."

Minhyuk smiled again. He leaned closer and whispered, "In fact, I'm wearing it now. Wanna see?" the mischievous glint of his eyes gave a shiver on Kihyun's spine.

"Never. Nope. Not your average dick, sorry. I'd rather gagged on Hyunwoo's cock, thank you."

Minhyuk scoffed, but then he curiously stared at the younger. "Have you seen another's man cock anyway? I know Hyunwoo is well endowed and heaven really loves that man because they gave that third leg, but have you?"

"What?” Kihyun let out a breathy laugh. “No. Why would I? Hyunwoo’s monstrous cock is enough for me."

Minhyuk shrugged his shoulders. He took a seat on Kihyun's table. "I don't know. Wonho once asked me this. And I said yeah, I've seen someone else's cock. They’re either smaller or bigger than him."

"And?" Kihyun arched one of his eyebrows. 

"You know so well that we have this open-minded relationship, right? He said it's okay to see someone else's cock as long as he owns my ass."

Kihyun shook his head with a disbelief look. "I think I've heard enough from you because I don't understand a single thing you've said. So, why are you here?"

"Picking you up? We have date lunch with Nara today, Mr. Perfect."

"Yeah, that's me.

**««»»**

 

It's not like Kihyun wanted to cheat on Hyunwoo. His mind went haywire when the young stud started to lick his nipples, _fuck! Fuck._ Kihyun panted heavily as the heat spread and centered in one particular area that eagerly poked between two naked bodies, pressed and entangled.

"Hmm," The young man whose name had been forgotten minutes ago when he sucked Kihyun's cock, tweaked the left nipple. "You like that?"

Kihyun nodded and let his mind flew through the ceiling. He didn't want to engage in useless conversation because he only wanted the satisfaction that this young stud could bring with his prominent manhood.

He shut his mind from anything.

  **««»»**

 

That was unintentional. Meeting Nara and the conversation he had with Minhyuk left a big question in his mind.

Maybe all he needed was this feeling,

_to see if he was still wanted in his 30s._

_to indulge in reminiscence of the days when men and women would slip a small paper with their telephone number on his hand or coat._

Consumed with that thought, Kihyun ventured from one nightclub to another. He started dancing again, laughing and rolling on top of the table, completely wasted.

Then, the temptation came.

That was the time when someone would come to him and said sweet-nothings and ended up in bed

 It wasn't considered as cheating if the feeling wasn't involved, that's what Kihyun thought. The mark was still there, but Hyunwoo didn't know that since he was hundreds of kilometers away from him. Kihyun used to nag a lot about it, but now that he had something to do, he let it go.

He was still in a daze of being the center of attention again in the nightclubs he visited.

**««»»**

 

Hyunwoo knew something's up. He didn't see the joy in his husbands' eyes anymore. They used to shine so brightly, but now, they're dull and empty.

He blamed himself for making Kihyun this way. For maybe, suffocating him with his role. He understood that being parents and having a demanding career at the same time wasn't easy. That's why he admired Kihyun who looked fine doing both of his roles. Not to mention being his husband, taking care of him.

Being away was never convenient for Hyunwoo. He felt bad for leaving Kihyun alone with their kids, but luckily they both had the super chill and sweet boys: Jooheon and Changkyun. They always did everything together and protected each other. They also became the source of strength when Hyunwoo was in deep remorse due to his absence from their lives. He tried his best to be there for them- even though he wasn't there physically, he would make time to face-time them anytime he could. Yet, he still missed their school performances, their first games.

He did what he could, although he sometimes cried because of the situation. Despite this unfortunate situation, his kids never turned against him. They respected him well and always, always screamed out loud when he came home, ran to him with wide smiles, and asked for his attention every second.

Hyunwoo knew that he had to pay a lot for his lack of presence. Sometimes, he just stared at Kihyun who fell asleep next to him. His fingers would gently trace the features of the man whom he married for ten years. He never aged. His beauty remained and truthfully, no one could rival his beauty. He was his first love. The bigger might look intimidating, but he's a shy person. He braced himself up to approach a beauty who was passionately dancing on the dance floor - after three or five shots of liquor.

When Kihyun said yes for his proposal, he shouted with all his might and embarrassed himself in a stage. Kihyun was still working as a stage manager at that time. The crews and actors who were there laughed when he hit his head after he tried to push away the property that was blocking him from Kihyun.

He won their hearts after.

There're a lot of women and men tried to make him sway. They never succeeded. His heart and soul belonged to Kihyun. That's why he felt so depressed when he saw how Kihyun slowly distanced himself from his touch. It's so subtle, but Hyunwoo was born as a shy and sensitive person. He knew that the younger was suffering.

  **««»»**

 

"Baby, where are you? I've been trying to call you since this morning. Are you okay? Are you still having that headache?"

Kihyun closed his eyes for a second. He licked his lips, try to moist them. "I— _uh_ , yeah. I'm still outside, honey. There's this-uh…mmm…a meeting, yes, meeting with a – _uuh,_ client?" Kihyun bit his lips. He felt so bad for doing this. He accidentally pressed 'Yes' button when he wanted to shut his phone down.

Kihyun cast his eyes down, he bit his lips harder because the sight was distracting him a lot. A bulky man on his 20s was eagerly bobbed his head up and down on his cock, gripping and fondling his balls while he was doing that. It's a miracle Kihyun could hold himself for not moaning out loud while having a phone call with his husband.

The word 'husband' rang wildly. The guilt was there. Every single damn time. This is the third time he did something like this. Apparently, one body couldn't satisfy him enough.

"You sound weird. Are you sure you're okay? Darling, please have a rest. I don't want to see you sick again. You've worked so hard. I think Mr. Choi will understand if you need a rest."

Hyunwoo's voice was laced with worry.  Kihyun felt the tug - both in his heart and on his penis. He stared at the man again who was now aligning his dick to Kihyun’s hole. He knew he couldn't hold any longer if that man finally put his penis inside his ass.

"Honey, I - I have to go now. Don't worry about me. After this, I will surely take a rest. You too, okay, don't tire yourself too much." Kihyun screwed his eyes shut as he tried not to peek at the sight in front of him. But the young man whom he was with was so hot. His eyes were full of lust, transfixed to the image of his dick just in front of Kihyun’s hole. He had to hold the man for going in because he couldn’t—

"All right. Take care, baby. I miss you a lot."

Kihyun lay his head further to the pillow. "Umm, yeah. Me too. Miss you too." the shiver of lies, the adrenaline and lust were pumped throughout his system. He felt the tremendous guilt and undeniable desire right now.

"I love you."

Kihyun felt his tears started to roll down from the corner of his eyes. He whined inside his head. "Love you too..." he croaked, his voice was too soft to even be heard.

He could feel his heart beat so loudly, the love was resonated through his husband's voice and it's hurt. More hurtful than the fact he was here, lying with another man to chase his past and bask in the reminiscence of his glory days.

Kihyun felt the coldness, the lust had turned into guilt-it crept along his skin and heart, numbing him from the sensation of a blunt mushroom head that was poking his entrance.

"W-wait, st-stop," said Kihyun weakly. He sighed. "Jun-Junpyo, I d-don't think I want this ... anymore. I'm sorry."

The man who was focusing his eyes on the wet hole in front of him, scoffed. "It's it a bit too late, don't you think? C'mon. Forget about your boyfriend or husband. Look, my penis has already so wet and hard. You made this." he leaned forward to kiss the former,  but Kihyun turned his head away.

"I'm sorry. Look-you're a handsome guy. Y-you can get plenty of boys your age. I .. I can't do this .."

Junpyo was enraged. He squinted his eyes at Kihyun as the evil smirk formed. "Don't push me. Just close your eyes and enjoy what I'm going to give you."

Kihyun could feel the shiver run down his spine. The air was so thick with tension and he felt colder than before. The unsettled feeling started to grip on him. The news of someone mutilated just a couple nights ago around started to flash on his mind.

Kihyun gulped. The knot started to form in his stomach. "Junpyo-ssi, please. I really can't do this. I have to go back home-"

For a while, Junpyo didn't say anything. His grip on Kihyun's legs didn't get weaker. Instead, it's getting stronger. "A slut like you can't tell me what I should or should not do!" he roared as he held both of Kihyun's legs.

Kihyun was shocked to the core, but knowing the man's full attention, he thrashed around and made it difficult. "Get off of me!"

Junpyo, the man, unfortunately, was stronger than Kihyun. His biceps bulged when he kept the latter's wrists above his head, "Shut up! Shut up! You little man whore! You brought this on yourself! Now, just shut up and spread your legs like a good slut!"

No matter how hard Kihyun tried to release himself from the man, he knew he had lost. With horror in his eyes, he just saw the man that he brought to the hotel forcefully breached into his hole. He groaned of the intrusion, feeling stretched. This guy was nothing compared to Hyunwoo truthfully, in terms of size, but—

Kihyun bit his lips, bracing himself for not crying out loud. He did this to himself. How could he come home and wait for his husband like a good husband he was?

If Hyunwoo knew about this-

The man on top of him groaned and Kihyun loathed his voice as much as he hated himself right now. He was raped.

He brought an unknown person to the hotel hoping to get fun and this was what he got.

**««»»**

 

Hyunwoo shut the phone down. He worried a lot about his husband. His husband was the most-hardworking person he ever knew. Nowadays, he seemed lacking in stamina and kept getting sick. Their children asked a lot about his husband because they kept saying that Kihyun now was too busy to spend time with them.

Hyunwoo knew that Kihyun also went out a lot. As someone who owned a big agency and worked in the entertainment business, it's normal to go out a lot. He met Kihyun when he was with production crews and their manager at a nightclub. However, there's a voice inside that told him it was also because of something else.

Refused to dwell on his nonsense thought, Hyunwoo checked his appearance on the mirror once again. Dark circled eyes and a tired face were looking back at him. He drove his car carefully although he felt like drained to the bone. He loved to drive after long-hours of negotiating. The thrumming of nightlife was a melody he kept listening to when he was away from his loved ones. This was like the best time to reflect back to any decision he had ever made, to the failures, and future plans.

Maybe Kihyun needed a little time to be away from him? That's why he became a bit distant nowadays? Maybe he was tired waiting for him? He might be tired after long hours of working as a manager and had to take care of their children too.

If that's the reason, how selfish he was for letting him work by himself. Hyunwoo scolded himself, "Think about your husband, you idiot. Look what you have made to him."

Feeling frustrated, he started hitting the steering wheel.

The thoughts assaulted his mind, and for a moment Hyunwoo felt like losing his sense of where he was and what he was doing. All that he could remember was a bright light when he was about to call someone-

"HEY!!" someone screamed so loud. Hyunwoo hadn't had time to slam the steering wheel when he saw with his own eyes a vehicle from his right came towards his car. This vehicle collided with his car head-on, totaling his vehicle in the process.

His car was moved a little due to the impact, but not too long before another car hits.

**««»»**

 

After some time, Hyunwoo heard some people were screaming, the others were shouting at each other from the outside. He just didn't know from which side as he sat there, paralyzed from the top of his head to his legs. There were also the sounds or baby crying and a car honked repeatedly. He didn't quite catch on his situation as the blood from his head covered his sight.

 

  **««»»**

 

Hyunwoo was in a daze. His brain was trying hard to regain his sense; of what's happening to him right now. But the stinging and continuous pain from his chest, his legs, every part of his body, made it hard to concentrate.

He tried to take a deep breath but then he coughed blood. Even breathing was really painful. He could feel something was blocking his breathing passage. Or maybe his lungs; he wasn't sure because the pain was so intense. His breaths started to get ragged due to the lack of oxygen.

Hyunwoo was scared.

He was not scared easily. His friends and even Kihyun sometimes complained at him when they took him to the horror house or watched horror movies due to his stoic face. He couldn't pretend he was scared because he wasn't.

But at this time, this particular moment of his life, when he wasn't sure that he could be still alive, he felt tremendous fear.

Desperation ate him alive,

_because he couldn't move his hands or legs._

He was helpless beyond words,

_paralyzed with pain._

**««»»**

 

Kihyun screamed for the pain. The tears were falling like that day on spring where he tied himself to a sacred union between him and Hyunwoo. It was the forgetful day, the day he was waiting forever on his life. He looked at the face of the man who wore the classic wedding tux. Even Adonis would be too ashamed to stand before him. His eyes were filled with love and compassion. They were so warm and inviting, like a home. Hyunwoo reminded him of home: something precious where you could spend the rest of your life.

A tear was falling when the man thrust again.

The wedding vow was playing softly on his ears. His wedding vow and it crushed his soul more than the act that this brute man did to him.

 

**_[ Through the good and bad ]_ **

Hyunwoo screwed his eyes shut. The pain got intense. He wished internally that someone, anyone could save him at this moment. He couldn't just leave Kihyun and his kids. Not like this. Not when something happened to Kihyun, in his marriage. He promised him that he would be there, through the good and the bad.

 

 

**_[ In sickness and in health ]_ **

Kihyun gritted his teeth when he was forcefully being positioned by Junpyo on all fours. He was sick to death to this man. He was humiliated and abused. His hard-on had gone a long time ago when Junpyo entered him. He realized his mistake, but it's too late...

 

Hyunwoo could feel the tears rolling on his cheeks. They said that the best way to die was to not be able to feel anything. Instant death was better than prolonging the pain.

Yet it wasn't the pain. It was the memories of the ones he'd leave behind.

The mistakes he wished that he could atone for.

The future plans and dreams yet to be fulfilled.

The smiling faces of Jooheon and Changkyun and the honey-dripping voice of his husband...

 

**_[ For better, for worse ]_ **

 

Kihyun grunted when he felt the thrusts becoming intense. He gripped the bedsheet tightly from the impact. The outburst of profanities filled the room, but he specifically pointed them out to the hunk who was enjoying his way on Kihyun.

This was the worst scenario of a one-night-stand. The fear of getting killed had left Kihyun's brain. Now what's left was a bitter truth that he was raped, humiliated, used by someone that he picked up randomly in a nightclub.

 

Hyunwoo groaned. He felt like swimming in the endless ocean, without something that he could hold on to. He swam without knowing where to go and why. His mind kept telling him to keep opening his eyes until someone arrived and saved him, but part of him told him to reach out the endless blackness that was waiting in front of him.

It was big and terrorizing that made Hyunwoo cower in fear. It was coming for him.

 

**_[ To love, to cherish and to respect one another until the day we die ]_ **

 

Hyunwoo was dying.

He realized that. The rambunctious of everything outside the car was unable to tear his thought that he, unfortunately, would not live the day to see the sun rose again...

That he would never be able to hold his sons and watch them play, grow up, and fall in love...

That he would never be able to kiss the temple of his lovely husband every night, to hold him tight and watch the day slip away, to make love until they're spent and lying naked like the day they were born, to enjoy each other's company at the end of the day with a cup of coffee or tea or even a glass of champagne.

He didn't want to leave this way, but his eyes got heavier. The shadow of the blackness had waited for him.

It was unavoidable that he's a breath away from leaving this world, without being able to tell how much he loved his family.

He wanted to tell them that he's sorry for leaving them behind,

he wanted to hold them in his arms before he went away and tell them that he loved them with all his heart and soul...

Hyunwoo opened his eyes in agony. He couldn't see things clearly because the blood seeped into his eyes.

"Kihyun..." he croaked, engrossed in his place of an image. It was blindly white and shining, coming slowly to his direction. Hyunwoo's chest heaved up and down from the exertion because he used all his energy to stay awake. The image slowly got clearer as it approached him. He lifted his right hand with so much difficulty, trying to block the radiant light from the image. But then he heard the familiar chuckle.

He peeked from his hand and saw Kihyun. The man was smiling and reached out his hand. He wore the same wedding tux ten years ago. The smaller man looked very young and fresh, contrary to what he looked nowadays. The eyes that were so dull and lifeless now shining and glowing.

"K-kihyun-ah...my love..." Hyunwoo tried once more to speak, to call his love. He mustered a smile as his strength had decreased to the lowest level.

Kihyun just nodded, encouraged him to take his hand that was extended to him. "My husband, my love..."

Hyunwoo smiled again. His mind was finally at peace. Staring at the beautiful face of his husband, he was finally calm. He could feel the coldness and numbness all over his body. Started from his legs and crawled to his chest. "The kids..."

"They'll be fine. Don't worry."

Hyunwoo sighed in contentment. Keeping his eyes fully on the image, he reached out his hands and gripped it tightly.

"Kihyun—"

**««»»**

 

Kihyun took a deep breath when the man gripped his hips harshly while swearing loudly as he released all over his ass. He grunted again when he thrust in and out for little more.

Kihyun was cold,

he was no longer able to move or speak anything. He was drained, both physically and mentally. The last thing he wanted to do was being here. He wanted to go home, to hold his kids and tuck them to bed, he wanted to wait for Hyunwoo and call him to tell him how much he missed him.

Kihyun gasped when the man finally pulled out his filthy dick from his hole, spanking his ass with a satisfied laugh. "You really have an amazing ass. Anytime you want again, I would be at the same place."

Kihyun didn't bother to reply. He just wished that morning would come soon so that he could forget what happened tonight.

After the man left, Kihyun drew a big amount of air and started to cry. It's not a physical hurt he felt, but the amount of disappointment of his own self.

If only he could turn back time,

he would never take that step into the nightclub, he would never let some stranger dance with him or grind on him...

_If only-_

As he laid himself on the bed, the face of his husband was flashed across his mind. His warmth that radiated from his eyes and smile mesmerized him from the start.

Kihyun smiled as he remembered his wedding day. The wedding-tux fitted perfectly on him as he took his hand to dance with as husbands for the first time. "May I have the honor to take you to dance, my love?"

That's was cringe-worthy, but that's exactly how Hyunwoo asked him to dance when he first met him in a nightclub. That was the day he was captured by the tall man named Hyunwoo.

"Hyunwoo, my love, my husband...I'm sorry..." Kihyun sobbed painfully. He brought this massive destruction to his marriage, to the man who loved him and that he loved the most, and he didn't know how to mend his mistakes. He probably would be devastated if Hyunwoo left him after knowing he cheated on him. He somehow thought that he deserved this, to be humiliated like this because of what he did. But he knew, he just knew. That Hyunwoo mostly would just hug him after the storm, kiss his temple, and said 'I love you'.

"I love you too..." whispered Kihyun, feeling the innumerable guilt hit him like a wave with each word.

 

**««»»**

 

The last thing Hyunwoo remembered before closing his eyes was the blinding light and Kihyun took his hand as they walked together. He remembered calling Kihyun's name and with the last breath, he whispered, "I love you."

_Then everything was black._

* * *

 

It was raining.

Hyunwoo's funeral had been held solemnly. People came and went after bidding a tearful farewell to the man who lay on a beautifully carved coffin.

Kihyun was unable to stand. His eyes were hollow, tears and wails were ceased just minutes ago. The immense pain of the memory was eating him alive. He was walking like a living corpse, unable to think. The day he had been raped was the day Hyunwoo writhed in agony for several minutes as his car was part of the tragic traffic collision in the safest road in Taiwan.

Minhyuk came to the hotel that night. He went pale when he saw his friend's condition, but held himself to ask for more. He tended the wounds and helped Kihyun to go home and stayed for the night. The next morning he was also the first person that Kihyun held when he got the news about Hyunwoo.

Kihyun bit his lips when his tears brimmed on his eyes. He wished he could turn back the time. He wished this was only a dream. He wished that Hyunwoo would wake up and hug him and tell him that this was only a prank.

But what he wished for, had laid there, in silence.

All he had was the memory, the loneliness, and guilt.

Kihyun sobbed as his heart scrunched in pain. His kids were guarding their father's coffin, but everyone could clearly see the sadness in his kids' eyes.

Kihyun mustered up his strength as he walked to the coffin. It was like a long walk, like the day he took that walk to see his beloved husband who was waiting eagerly at the end of the aisle. Now he walked to the same man, but instead of smiling and breathing, he was ... calm, cold, and lifeless. Kihyun choked at the sight. Hyunwoo looked so calm and at peace. He brushed his hands to the cold cheek of his husband, "I- .." he wanted to confess to him, but he couldn't. Not when his kids were there. "You-you look good. Ah, why did I say that? You always look good.” He stopped himself for a while.

“I hope you know that we love you a lot and that we, we will always remember you in our lives. You gave us everything and we haven't returned them yet." Kihyun took a deep breath. He reached out his kids who were now crying. He wiped his tears that threatened to fall. “I will keep Jooheon and Changkyun well. You can rest assured of that.”

“I apologize for not being a good husband when you were still alive,” Kihyun stifled as he said that. “I’m full of flaws, but you love me the way I am. Forgive me for not telling you how much I love you every single day. I’m going to miss you so much, I might go crazy. Until we meet again, honey. Please rest in peace.”

There were a lot of things Kihyun wanted to say, but he had to hold them. Everything was too late. He would no longer have his husband by his side. But he promised that he would be the father that his kids needed. He silently prayed as the coffin slowly being closed that Hyunwoo would hear and forgive him for his mistakes,

that he would do anything to redeem his mistakes,

that he would do anything to listen to Hyunwoo’s voice again.

When the coffin was completely sealed and closed, Kihyun cried again. 

That's it. It’s official. The unavoidable truth that his Hyunwoo had gone…

 

 

【THE END】

**Author's Note:**

> Hello readers,  
> Just a quick greeting from me. This is part of the showki bingo challenge that I and my mutuals made. We are enamored by showki dynamic and think of how we should appreciate them. Then we think, why not creating showki bingo? This is something I've been dreaming about when I started writing.  
> I hope you enjoy this work and my mutuals' as well as other participants' works. Give them your support: read, kudos, and comment. One word can lighten up our day :D


End file.
